Divorce: Understanding Its Impact on the Entire Family

The word "divorce" is very emotionally charged and often carries a lot of weight behind it. Not only has the acceptance of divorce changed over the past decades, but so has the occurrence rate. Somewhere between 40 and 50% of first marriages end in divorce. For second marriages, this number increases to 60 to 67%.

An important thing to remember is that when a divorce happens, there can be significant impacts on all members of the family, not just the couple that is separating. Having a good understanding of the different ways divorce can affect the family includes looking at emotional, financial, social, and long-term effects.

Let's explore each of these areas. 

The Emotional Impact

Divorce is the end of a significant life chapter. Most likely, one or both of the partners separating will feel some form of grief. Grief is an entirely normal response to the loss of a partnership, the loss of a lover, and the loss of a specific way of life. As this transition occurs, there can be major adjustment issues as each tries to get their footing in their new roles and navigates co-parenting duties.

For children, the emotional piece can be hard for different reasons. Being the children of a divorcing couple can lead to insecurities, guilt, and self-blame. They may take on the burden of the divorce, thinking they are to blame for their parents separating. It’s also common for children to develop anxiety at the uncertainty of their own lives.

The Financial Impact

When divorce occurs, it is infrequently a smooth and quick process. There is a lot involved, including some important financial decisions. Assets need to be divided. The one household will now become two. Partners have to figure out how they will meet needs based on one salary where there used to be two. There are also financial obligations like child support that can further complicate matters.

For children, this can create problems where academics, athletics, or leisure activities are concerned. For each partner, it can create issues with retirement and lifestyle matters, like vacation habits.

The Social Impact

Since divorce is often met with stigmas, there can be additional social impacts that may be expected for the adults, but not as much for the children.

Social connections may not know how to deal with the partners after the divorce happens. No one wants to choose sides, so they may distance some in the beginning stages.

For younger children, they may experience teasing or negative comments, largely in part from lack of understanding. With older children, they may be met with mixed commentary from their social supports, especially if there are friends who have been through divorces with their family.

If and when one or both of the parents remarries, the blended family dynamic adds new challenges. It can also bring positive attributes to the family unit.

The Long-Term Impact

As you can gather, divorce can be a tricky journey to navigate. There are a lot of negatives stemming from it. But there can be some positives as well.

Children who witness their parents divorcing have a higher chance of developing mental health issues or behaviors that can be problematic in their own relationships in the future. Unfortunately, children who witness their parents stay in bad relationships can also be predisposed to this.

There’s also the concept of happiness and well-being. Divorce can create some deep emotional scars and cause a downward swing before life starts to feel ok again. Alternatively, staying in a toxic or emotionally draining relationship long term can have its own consequences—for all parties involved.

Understanding the diverse impacts, both negative and positive, can better help you prepare for what lies ahead. If you need additional support navigating the challenges of divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation for family therapy.